The 4 Step Vagina Facial

The Vagina Facial

Do you know how to heal and soothe your kitty? Not in the sexual way people. Get your minds out of the gutter. 

You may think I’ve lost my mind, but hear me out. The skin in your nether region needs tender loving care too. Just like your face, it can benefit from the extra pampering. There are so many reasons why you should give your vagina a facial. Do you have ingrown hairs, razor bumps, irritated angry skin? Does it holler at you every time you shave? Do you let your hairs grow because you don’t want to see what it looks like down there without them? Are you hiding behind your pubes? Free yourself and give in to the satisfying pleasure of a facial. A vagina facial.

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Everyone in Hollywood is doing it, right? There must be something to it.  While Gwyneth Paltrow may steam her kitty (which is a step in some facials). I do not.  I’m sure it would be quite relaxing, but I just don’t have the capability of performing said feat at home. I’m not about to squat over some bowl of hot water for God knows how long. Come on people, pampering is about relaxing. And that’s not relaxing to me in the least. Maybe if I had a special chair with the inside cut out like the chairs that women would deliver a baby in oh so long ago. Yes, must go search on Google for that. I wonder??? Or maybe I could borrow a shower chair or bedside commode from the hospital???? OH, or I could connect the toilet to the hot water. Forgive me, my mind wonders.

Let’s get down to it! No pun intended.

The 4 Step Vagina Facial

   1. Wash. Fill the bathtub with about 1 inch of warm water. You want there to be just enough water to wash and rinse, but not come up high enough to interfere with applying a mask later. Use a gentle soap and wash cloth and gently clean your kitty. Hopefully you have all received instruction on how to do this already in life. Because… I just can’t. Then rinse.

2. Scrub. Now that your kitty is clean, let’s give it a good scrub. If you have an all-time favorite scrub at home use it. The grittier, the better. Your vagina can take it. It probably needs the workout anyway. This will go a long way to help prevent ingrown hairs and razor bumps. If you’d like a DIY baking soda scrub recipe, here’s one. It’s my go to. Or mix up a sugar or salt scrub. Search Pinterest, there are tons. Please do not actually scrub inside your vagina.

3. Mask. Now comes the best part. Time to Relax and Pamper. Lots you can do here. I usually go for an exfoliating mask. Anything you can put on your face, you can put on your vajayjay. In fact I love to mask both at the same time. But you can also opt for a tightening and brightening mask or a detoxing charcoal mask. It all depends on how bad your kitty has been.  If this is your first time, opt for a simple DIY milk and honey mask (2tbs milk and 2 tbs honey mixed together) to soften and smooth. Don't like doing the whole DIY thing then try this awesome honey mask by Fresh. It will leave you saying "Yes, Please, Give me more!" Still not quite sure what mask to use, check out my extra hints for mask options below. Apply the mask over pubic region and lay (or is it lie? I can never remember) back in the tub and let the mask do its work. Maybe listen to Marvin Gay Let’s Get It On from your phone. Light some candles. Then who knows. When the mask is done, rinse clean. If you want to shave, now is the time to do it. Again, just to reiterate, do not put any skincare product inside your vagina. Just trying to weed out the ones smoking. LOL.

4. Moisturize. I love to follow with coconut oil. It’s a great hydrater, will help prevent future skin issues like ingrown hairs, and will leave you nice and smooth. Smooth enough for future activity down there. Hint, Hint!

Extra Hints for Mask Options

🙈Do you have a bumpy kitty? A good exfoliation mask might be just what you need. This one by Elemis is full of natural enzymes and is great for ingrown hairs and razor bumps.

🙉Have you been a bad girl? Maybe you need to detox with this replenishing mud mask by Josie. And wash all your sins away.

🙊Or maybe you just need a little remodeling to tighten and brighten things up down there. This gold mask by Peter Thomas Roth is the way to go.

The end result will be hearts and flowers. Your vagina will thank you and you will be saying “Ooh La La!”😻


Juli said…
Omg I wish I knew about this early! I get razor burn and bumps so easily! I'll have to suggest this to my clients who shave before their boudoir session.
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